sunshineduck
09-09-2010, 10:24 PM
http://i34.tinypic.com/30a6glj.jpg
I've been noticing quite a few new posters on here lately and I, for one, welcome them. You will soon find that the forum is full of quite a few angry bastards, like myself, who will jump at the chance to brand you a failure. That's why I'd like to use this thread to give some tips to all you new posters so we can all have a more harmonious experience. (Tips from other veteran posters would be appreciated).
Okay, here we go
Tips
-Lurk This is the most important thing you can possibly do if you hope to become a member of the community here. For your first few trips here just spend some time reading the threads and not posting. Try to learn the language, the memes, and the personalities of the posters. Learn who has the respect of the board (not me) and who is considered a failure.
-Start off Slow So, now you've been lurking long enough to tell the difference between Smushface and Pieface. That's great! You should still realize that your opinion doesn't matter. The last thing you want to do is go out and make a thread because if it fails, which it probably will, you will most likely be branded a failure. First impressions matter! Go find a thread and contribute, but wait until you feel like you've established yourself before you start posting. Maybe try to piggyback off of an established poster (this is where lurking comes in handy). Don't try to make a name for yourself by attacking other posters though, no matter how much they fail. They're still more established than you and you'll probably just elicit a response of "Who are you?". *Note* Don't go too overboard with the piggybacking or else nobody will take you seriously as a poster.
-Listen to your critics If you make a thread and the first response people have to it is something along the lines of "fail", chance are they're right. Stop bumping it and try again.
-Don't feed the troll Is someone saying something so stupid that nobody could possibly agree with them? Chances are they're a troll. Responding to them is only going to get you pissed and make them successful. When in doubt about someone's troll status simply stop replying.
-Beware Tinyurl links Tinyurl has been used in the past to, well, screw with people. It's a good idea to make sure you trust somebody before you click their tinyurl link.
-Check for spelling and grammar This might seem kinda nit-picky, but spelling and to a lesser extent grammar definitely factor in to how other posters perceive you. Sure, your grammar doesn't need to be perfect, but messing up the basics like "there"s and "your"s will just make you look foolish. Also, in an era when Firefox spellchecks everything for you, improper spelling is inexcusable.
-How to add effects to your post To add effects to your post (Such as bold, italics, strikethrough or underline) simply type where x = the effect you want (U for underline, B for bold, S for strikethrough and I for italics). To turn off the effect simply type where x = the effect you want to end. This will cause everything typed after it to no longer have the effect. Go ahead and try it out by commenting on this thread!
Threads to Avoid
So, now you've established yourself and you're ready to start posting. Make sure your first thread is a good one by avoiding these common awful thread templates.
The Attention Whore Thread Exodus, Kuja Why Do You Treat Me Like A Dog?, Aces♤high. People here don't care about who you are or where you're from or what you do. Anytime you start a thread with the word "I" in it make sure you evaluate it. We don't want to hear about funny things you do with your friends or your family. We especially don't want to hear about your girlfriend (or lack there of). Finally, we're not here to help you with your problems. Almost any thread about a problem of yours will be mocked mercilessly.
Voting Threads Favorite Drink, Bagels, Top 5 Player of Each Plane. Despite the best efforts of the OP. Any thread requiring the community to vote, ESPECIALLY for something like the best player will invariably fail.
Lingo
You must talk the talk before you can walk the walk.
10chars - Short for ten characters, the minimum needed for a post.
^5 - High five
bais - The proper way to misspell "base". See: plain, chute
Best boat - A more recent meme, originated in this (http://altitudegame.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4437) thread.
c[_] - Empty care cup. It means nobody cares about what you're posting.
c[▓] - Full care cup. Opposite of empty care cup.
carstairs'd - <---
chute - The proper way to misspell "shoot". See: plain, bais
DF - Double Fire. A loopy perk that is twice as annoying as tracker, with all the empness of its predecessor. Also may be used to refer to explodet specialist Don't Follow.
dorp - Intentional misspelling of "drop", signifies the dropping of a neutral bomb nowhere near an enemy base, usually to prevent an enemy from picking it up and dropping it on yours.
Flippy/Minerva - Not actually planes. Often used in jokes by Altitude veterans "in the know".
FTL - For the loss!
FTW - For the win!
FUUUUU - Typically signifies that someone is upset, not very excited to see altitude player FU.
F_L - **** ____ life. Typically used as FML (my life), FYL (your life), or FOL (our lives)
FYP - Fixed your post
HA - Heavy Armor. A green perk that increases the health of your plane.
HC - Heavy Cannon. A biplane perk known for being really, really annoying.
Hippo - The proper name for a remote mine/flexy wings/turbocharger explodet. Term patented by Matattack.
Hueypirate - Hurripilot, in Chinese. Only to be pronounced extremely quickly in a faux chinese accent as if you were screaming his name during sexual relations.
*hug* - Tupapito needs one.
Į(•.•)₂ - A blind old man waving his cane in anger.
IAH - In all honesty
IMO* - In My Opinion
*Acceptable substitute for punctuation imo
Inb4 Alternatively: ib4 - Short for "In Before" usually followed by another word such as lock, ban, dick pics, etc. Posting this means you anticipate something to happen to the thread or OP. For example: Inb4lock means that you expect the thread to be locked.
inorite - I know, right?
ITT - In this thread
karlam - The altitude community's cute nickname for the game's creators, Karl and Lamster.
LDO - Like duh, obviously
LemonChiffon - The workaround to the not being able to type in white issue. It makes it so you have to highlight the "invisible" text like you did this.
Lock - When posting is disallowed in a thread by a mod
l2 Alternatively: lrn2 - Short for learn to. Examples: l2pass, l2shoot, etc.
Lurking - Reading threads on a forum without posting.
Mod - Pieface, tgleaf, not Kuja, etc Moderator. The people with the "Super Moderator" tag next to their name that yell at you when you stick your dong in the pudding
no u - For any poster, a great response to pretty much almost anything. Example: "Hey man, I heard that Sinstar is a really awful player." You: "no u". See? Instant lulz.
OP - Original Poster
Pew pew - Originally a parody on the noise Miranda used to make when it shot, now a parody on the noise all planes make when they shoot, except Heavy Cannon
plain - The proper way to misspell "plane". See: chute, bais
Properk - A term used exclusively by Sinstar and Hurripilot, First Earl of the Water Cooler as a nickname for the Ace Instincts blue perk
QF_ - Quoted for ____. Most often used as "qft", which means quoted for truth.
Sinstar Syndrome - A highly contagious disease that prevents the victim from pressing s and dropping it on an enemy base. Ironic considering that there are three S's in the name of the disease.
Smurfing - Pretending to be someone you're not, similar to how Kim Kardashian is pretending to be someone relevant.
Sniplane - Technically a reverse thurst/flexy wings/heavy cannon biplane, but this term is really just an awkward Beagle reference. Hi Beagle!
srs - Serious
Sticky - When a thread is moved to the top of the page and remains there no matter what.
TA - Time Anchor. A miranda perk that is known for warping back and forth, often resulting in hilarious death.
TBH - To Be Honest
thermo - Refers to thermobaric missiles, an explodet perk known for slamming people into walls.
tl;dr - Too long ; didn't read (like this thread amirite?)
Trolling - When someone posts with the intention of inciting anger.
TTF - This thread fails
WHOMP WHOMP - The glorious and completely accurate representation of the noise Heavy Cannon's primary weapon makes when fired. This godly expression of genius and creativity drew forth from none other than Lord Hurricane (also known as Lord Hurripilot), First Earl of the Water Cooler.
Whoring - The act of ignoring game mode-specific goals in favor of killing a lot to boost individual ratio.
<reserved> - Posted whenever someone wants to reserve an area for a post they will edit in later. Not really necessary unless writing a long thread that needs updating, but people do it anyways.
I've been noticing quite a few new posters on here lately and I, for one, welcome them. You will soon find that the forum is full of quite a few angry bastards, like myself, who will jump at the chance to brand you a failure. That's why I'd like to use this thread to give some tips to all you new posters so we can all have a more harmonious experience. (Tips from other veteran posters would be appreciated).
Okay, here we go
Tips
-Lurk This is the most important thing you can possibly do if you hope to become a member of the community here. For your first few trips here just spend some time reading the threads and not posting. Try to learn the language, the memes, and the personalities of the posters. Learn who has the respect of the board (not me) and who is considered a failure.
-Start off Slow So, now you've been lurking long enough to tell the difference between Smushface and Pieface. That's great! You should still realize that your opinion doesn't matter. The last thing you want to do is go out and make a thread because if it fails, which it probably will, you will most likely be branded a failure. First impressions matter! Go find a thread and contribute, but wait until you feel like you've established yourself before you start posting. Maybe try to piggyback off of an established poster (this is where lurking comes in handy). Don't try to make a name for yourself by attacking other posters though, no matter how much they fail. They're still more established than you and you'll probably just elicit a response of "Who are you?". *Note* Don't go too overboard with the piggybacking or else nobody will take you seriously as a poster.
-Listen to your critics If you make a thread and the first response people have to it is something along the lines of "fail", chance are they're right. Stop bumping it and try again.
-Don't feed the troll Is someone saying something so stupid that nobody could possibly agree with them? Chances are they're a troll. Responding to them is only going to get you pissed and make them successful. When in doubt about someone's troll status simply stop replying.
-Beware Tinyurl links Tinyurl has been used in the past to, well, screw with people. It's a good idea to make sure you trust somebody before you click their tinyurl link.
-Check for spelling and grammar This might seem kinda nit-picky, but spelling and to a lesser extent grammar definitely factor in to how other posters perceive you. Sure, your grammar doesn't need to be perfect, but messing up the basics like "there"s and "your"s will just make you look foolish. Also, in an era when Firefox spellchecks everything for you, improper spelling is inexcusable.
-How to add effects to your post To add effects to your post (Such as bold, italics, strikethrough or underline) simply type where x = the effect you want (U for underline, B for bold, S for strikethrough and I for italics). To turn off the effect simply type where x = the effect you want to end. This will cause everything typed after it to no longer have the effect. Go ahead and try it out by commenting on this thread!
Threads to Avoid
So, now you've established yourself and you're ready to start posting. Make sure your first thread is a good one by avoiding these common awful thread templates.
The Attention Whore Thread Exodus, Kuja Why Do You Treat Me Like A Dog?, Aces♤high. People here don't care about who you are or where you're from or what you do. Anytime you start a thread with the word "I" in it make sure you evaluate it. We don't want to hear about funny things you do with your friends or your family. We especially don't want to hear about your girlfriend (or lack there of). Finally, we're not here to help you with your problems. Almost any thread about a problem of yours will be mocked mercilessly.
Voting Threads Favorite Drink, Bagels, Top 5 Player of Each Plane. Despite the best efforts of the OP. Any thread requiring the community to vote, ESPECIALLY for something like the best player will invariably fail.
Lingo
You must talk the talk before you can walk the walk.
10chars - Short for ten characters, the minimum needed for a post.
^5 - High five
bais - The proper way to misspell "base". See: plain, chute
Best boat - A more recent meme, originated in this (http://altitudegame.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4437) thread.
c[_] - Empty care cup. It means nobody cares about what you're posting.
c[▓] - Full care cup. Opposite of empty care cup.
carstairs'd - <---
chute - The proper way to misspell "shoot". See: plain, bais
DF - Double Fire. A loopy perk that is twice as annoying as tracker, with all the empness of its predecessor. Also may be used to refer to explodet specialist Don't Follow.
dorp - Intentional misspelling of "drop", signifies the dropping of a neutral bomb nowhere near an enemy base, usually to prevent an enemy from picking it up and dropping it on yours.
Flippy/Minerva - Not actually planes. Often used in jokes by Altitude veterans "in the know".
FTL - For the loss!
FTW - For the win!
FUUUUU - Typically signifies that someone is upset, not very excited to see altitude player FU.
F_L - **** ____ life. Typically used as FML (my life), FYL (your life), or FOL (our lives)
FYP - Fixed your post
HA - Heavy Armor. A green perk that increases the health of your plane.
HC - Heavy Cannon. A biplane perk known for being really, really annoying.
Hippo - The proper name for a remote mine/flexy wings/turbocharger explodet. Term patented by Matattack.
Hueypirate - Hurripilot, in Chinese. Only to be pronounced extremely quickly in a faux chinese accent as if you were screaming his name during sexual relations.
*hug* - Tupapito needs one.
Į(•.•)₂ - A blind old man waving his cane in anger.
IAH - In all honesty
IMO* - In My Opinion
*Acceptable substitute for punctuation imo
Inb4 Alternatively: ib4 - Short for "In Before" usually followed by another word such as lock, ban, dick pics, etc. Posting this means you anticipate something to happen to the thread or OP. For example: Inb4lock means that you expect the thread to be locked.
inorite - I know, right?
ITT - In this thread
karlam - The altitude community's cute nickname for the game's creators, Karl and Lamster.
LDO - Like duh, obviously
LemonChiffon - The workaround to the not being able to type in white issue. It makes it so you have to highlight the "invisible" text like you did this.
Lock - When posting is disallowed in a thread by a mod
l2 Alternatively: lrn2 - Short for learn to. Examples: l2pass, l2shoot, etc.
Lurking - Reading threads on a forum without posting.
Mod - Pieface, tgleaf, not Kuja, etc Moderator. The people with the "Super Moderator" tag next to their name that yell at you when you stick your dong in the pudding
no u - For any poster, a great response to pretty much almost anything. Example: "Hey man, I heard that Sinstar is a really awful player." You: "no u". See? Instant lulz.
OP - Original Poster
Pew pew - Originally a parody on the noise Miranda used to make when it shot, now a parody on the noise all planes make when they shoot, except Heavy Cannon
plain - The proper way to misspell "plane". See: chute, bais
Properk - A term used exclusively by Sinstar and Hurripilot, First Earl of the Water Cooler as a nickname for the Ace Instincts blue perk
QF_ - Quoted for ____. Most often used as "qft", which means quoted for truth.
Sinstar Syndrome - A highly contagious disease that prevents the victim from pressing s and dropping it on an enemy base. Ironic considering that there are three S's in the name of the disease.
Smurfing - Pretending to be someone you're not, similar to how Kim Kardashian is pretending to be someone relevant.
Sniplane - Technically a reverse thurst/flexy wings/heavy cannon biplane, but this term is really just an awkward Beagle reference. Hi Beagle!
srs - Serious
Sticky - When a thread is moved to the top of the page and remains there no matter what.
TA - Time Anchor. A miranda perk that is known for warping back and forth, often resulting in hilarious death.
TBH - To Be Honest
thermo - Refers to thermobaric missiles, an explodet perk known for slamming people into walls.
tl;dr - Too long ; didn't read (like this thread amirite?)
Trolling - When someone posts with the intention of inciting anger.
TTF - This thread fails
WHOMP WHOMP - The glorious and completely accurate representation of the noise Heavy Cannon's primary weapon makes when fired. This godly expression of genius and creativity drew forth from none other than Lord Hurricane (also known as Lord Hurripilot), First Earl of the Water Cooler.
Whoring - The act of ignoring game mode-specific goals in favor of killing a lot to boost individual ratio.
<reserved> - Posted whenever someone wants to reserve an area for a post they will edit in later. Not really necessary unless writing a long thread that needs updating, but people do it anyways.