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Old 05-23-2012, 09:21 AM
classicallad classicallad is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: On the base - blockin ur bombs
Posts: 3,125

Originally Posted by Reu View Post
It's 'Dams' server not his, I'd prefer to get some insight from Dam.
One time I sat down on my couch and all of a sudden it was much squishier than usual. This was odd because the couch was 12 years old and had 3 broken springs. I got up and looked at my seat and lo and behold my dog took a giant dump on it. I went into the bathroom to go clean the **** off my pants when suddenly the doorbell rang. Not wanting to be rude, I went to go open the door and saw my mother standing there. Fortunately she is aging and her sense of smell isn't what it used to be, so she mistook the smell for me making fudge. I told her I was making fudge, but not that kind of fudge. She gave me a late christmas card and I was able to shoo her out before she sat down on the couch. So I went back into the bathroom and took off my fudge-coated pants and put on my favorite miniskirt. I decided it was time to replace my couch, so I called my neighbor Bob over to help me move my couch over into the alley. Bob was completely taken aback by my lovely miniskirt, and he left very quickly and awkwardly after we moved the couch. I bet he was so jealous. So, after that, I got in my Helicopter and flew to the nearest couch store. Unfortunately, there wasn't a helipad, so I landed on Elixir's car. He came up to me and asked me if that was my helicopter, so I told him "No U". He responded with "No U". We repeated this for hours until he regenerated his car using the sheer power of the "No U" we had generated. I wished him off on his merry way. As I got inside the store, I looked around and tried to decide on a new couch. Unfortunately, when I decided on one, I noticed the store was staffed by dogs who had "fudged" on the couch I was going to buy. A little annoyed at this, I went outside and went into the forest to summon the tree gorillas to kick the dogs asses. During the chaos, I managed to steal a really nice couch and tied it to my helicopter with a bungie cord. So with my couch just hanging there, not unlike something else *winkwink*, I happened to be flying too low and crashed the couch into CCN's house. I proceed to land the helicopter and get out to exchange insurance information. While we are inspecting the damage, I notice that the couch landed in CCN's septic tank and is now covered in fudge. Fortunately, he is too busy going "CCN CCN CCN CCN CCN CCN CCN CCN CCN" to notice that I swapped the couch with his couch using my ninja skills. I flew off in my helicopter with him none the wiser. When I got home, I noticed that Bob was not answering my phonecalls, so I decided to smash out my window and bring the couch in that way. Once I got the couch in place in my living room, I laced the edged of it with wiring that contained an electric charge so that if my dog decided to poop on it, it would cook his ass. Of course, this means I can't sit on it either, but it is worth it to learn the little bugger.
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