I have a problem!

Disilord · #1 09-29-2011, 03:14 AM

As some of you may know, my high schools homecoming dance is in 2.5 weeks. The problem I have is that parents announced tonight that I have to go to California that weekend and I won't be able to attend the dance. I have planning to ask this girl out (not just for the dance) and now I am in a sticky situation. I found out today that another guy has the hots for my girl and is planning to ask her out soon but I want to ask her before he does except if I do, she will miss the dance which will make me feel bad. HALP! need expert advice.

sunshineduck · #2 09-29-2011, 03:44 AM

tell her straight up you like her, get a bro to take her to your stupid dance

leggomyeggo · #3 09-29-2011, 04:06 AM

Thanks for sharing!

Radium · #4 09-29-2011, 04:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leggomyeggo

Thanks for sharing!

let's tussle

#5 09-29-2011, 05:00 AM

so, not wanting to seem impolite, but i don't think this is the right forum for this thread (i mean a video game forum for a urgent maze? you are really overestimating us gamers). GL anyway with your trouble.

P.S. since you write this story, you might as well make it more interesting by adding details of the situation (School grade, the rival boy description, Location etc) so its last at least 3 paragraphs. Well, mb next time

GL & Sincerely Yours
THE MARVEL, CEO of (5) inc. (lol)

Jrathje · #6 09-29-2011, 05:15 AM

This is easy (well easy for me to say), you like this chick, you can't take her to the dance. You've got 2.5 weeks. When you see her at school, go up to her and make conversation. Then get around to your parents being so terribly horrible and making you miss the dance. Tell her that wouldn't bother you so bad but you were planning on asking her and now you can't go. "So, since I can't take you to the dance, do you wanna go see a movie with me this weekend?"

If her reaction is less than pleasing, bonk her over the head with a big club(that you will have in your backpack, caveman style) and drag her back to your house by her hair.

How old are you?

sunshineduck · #7 09-29-2011, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jrathje

This is easy (well easy for me to say), you like this chick, you can't take her to the dance. You've got 2.5 weeks. When you see her at school, go up to her and make conversation. Then get around to your parents being so terribly horrible and making you miss the dance. Tell her that wouldn't bother you so bad but you were planning on asking her and now you can't go. "So, since I can't take you to the dance, do you wanna go see a movie with me this weekend?"

If her reaction is less than pleasing, bonk her over the head with a big club(that you will have in your backpack, caveman style) and drag her back to your house by her hair.

How old are you?

silly jrath, age doesn't matter. clapon started lifting weights at age seven, and i'm sure disilord is strong enough to wield a hefty club. even if he isn't, that's why chloroform exists.

[Y] · #8 09-29-2011, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineduck

tell her straight up you like her, get a bro to take her to your stupid dance

Is this straightforward advice from SSD I see?

Ingbo · #9 09-29-2011, 05:46 AM

k so like im not american and i dont know whats up with yall and these dances.... but i feel like it has to be a pretty low % of the ppl going as dates to these things that actually turn out as couples afterwards. even if this girl were to go with the dude thats probably all thats gona happen peer pressure and all both feeling like they "have to go" or whatever lololololol MURICANS all in all u should be okay either way if shes at all into u.

JDR · #10 09-29-2011, 07:51 AM

give her a minivan in public

ex~ · #11 09-29-2011, 07:55 AM

tell her you are a ceo like THE MARVEL and she's all yours

Jrathje · #12 09-29-2011, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ex~

tell her you are a ceo like THE MARVEL and she's all yours

I luld hard.

VeRiTaS · #13 09-29-2011, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineduck

tell her straight up you like her, get a bro to take her to your stupid dance

I have to say 1+

Mt.Vesuvius · #14 09-29-2011, 12:20 PM

Skip the whole dating thing and just alope with her tomorrow.. then you can take her with u to california like on a honey moon. If that fails then you could always give her a minivan in public..

sunshineduck · #15 09-29-2011, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [Y]

Is this straightforward advice from SSD I see?

i told him like four days ago that all hs dances are stupid except prom because it's impossible to not get laid afterwards. unfortunately, this happens to be amateur hour, so instead of rolling in chicks like ingbo and myself disilord will be forever alone~~

Ingbo · #16 09-29-2011, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineduck

i told him like four days ago that all hs dances are stupid except prom because it's impossible to not get laid afterwards. unfortunately, this happens to be amateur hour, so instead of rolling in chicks like ingbo and myself disilord will be forever alone~~

amateur night at the apollo, dayum straight!

Kuja900 · #17 09-29-2011, 04:24 PM

Get some pot and ask her if she wants to chill, ask her out when said chilling is in progress.

#18 09-29-2011, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ex~

tell her you are a ceo like THE MARVEL and she's all yours

lol, being a video game clan CEO is not that prestigious

#19 09-29-2011, 07:15 PM

Anyway, i think you've got enough answers, obviously none of them are smart enough (don't take it personally ppl), so mb its time to close the thread? Some of the post i read were simply plain stupid (again, don't take it personally)

Ribilla · #20 09-29-2011, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (5) THE MARVEL

lol, being a video game clan CEO is not that prestigious

You could have fooled me, I wanna be just like you when I grow up.

#21 09-29-2011, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ribilla

You could have fooled me, I wanna be just like you when I grow up.

Not wanting to change the subject, but I'm really not that old...(still in school)

Duck Duck Pwn · #22 09-29-2011, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (5) THE MARVEL

Not wanting to change the subject, but I'm really not that old...(still in school)

omg so am i! We have so much in common!!!!

Want to go out?????

See, it's easy to ask people out.

Radium · #23 09-29-2011, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (5) THE MARVEL

Not wanting to change the subject, but I'm really not that old...(still in school)

saaaaaaadface

Disilord · #24 09-29-2011, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineduck

i told him like four days ago that all hs dances are stupid except prom because it's impossible to not get laid afterwards. unfortunately, this happens to be amateur hour, so instead of rolling in chicks like ingbo and myself disilord will be forever alone~~

Actually because I would be home alone. I'm pretty sure I would get laid and that's why I was so pissed. I ripped a towel rack holder in my bathroom down and was like "rawr" while I qq'ed to sleep. I think I going to:
1. Say Im a CEO
2. Ask her out and take her to a movie on the weekend and if she says no I will wack her with a large club in my backpack.
3. Rip down the other bathroom towel rack.
4. Get laid by ssd.

Ribilla · #25 09-29-2011, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disilord

4. Get laid by ssd.

That one isn't optional.

leggomyeggo · #26 09-29-2011, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (5) THE MARVEL

Anyway, i think you've got enough answers, obviously none of them are smart enough (don't take it personally ppl), so mb its time to close the thread? Some of the post i read took the wrong idea of what you were saying.

Are you insulting me? Now, that's just plain rude.

VeRiTaS · #27 09-29-2011, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (5) THE MARVEL

Anyway, i think you've got enough answers, obviously none of them are smart enough (don't take it personally ppl), so mb its time to close the thread? Some of the post i read took the wrong idea of what you were saying.

Are you even aware of what you just said?

#28 09-30-2011, 12:11 AM

Guys, i did say not to take it personally, and you can't say that all post here had a very high level of intellect used, nor very useful to the thread

leggomyeggo · #29 09-30-2011, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (5) THE MARVEL

Guys, i did say not to take it personally, and you can't say that all post here had a very high level of intellect used, nor very useful to the thread

I am seriously offended by your post and would prefer if you would apologize for being so rude instead of just insulting me further.

Ribilla · #30 09-30-2011, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (5) THE MARVEL

Guys, i did say not to take it personally, and you can't say that all post here had a very high level of intellect used, nor very useful to the thread

Your lack of comprehension skills astound us all. Please, calmly and politely remove yourself from this thread and try playing the backseat mod somewhere else.

Dizzy, I expect graphic, live updates on current progress as it happens.

#31 09-30-2011, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ribilla

Your lack of comprehension skills astound us all. Please, calmly and politely remove yourself from this thread and try playing the backseat mod somewhere else.

Dizzy, I expect graphic, live updates on current progress as it happens.

I am seriously offended by your post and would prefer if you would apologize for being so rude instead of just insulting me further. (copyright legomyeggo)

banana · #32 09-30-2011, 12:30 AM

I assume this dance thing is vaguely important. You're not going to be there so don't bother asking her out.
Even if she says yes to you then you still lose because either she goes to the dance alone, or goes with the guy friend who likes her. If the guy is competent he'll have her off you.

Also lol at the marvel, best troll these forums have had in a while.

leggomyeggo · #33 09-30-2011, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (5) THE MARVEL

I am seriously offended by your post and would prefer if you would apologize for being so rude instead of just insulting me further. (copyright legomyeggo)

Get on my level.

Ingbo · #34 09-30-2011, 05:51 AM

you cant get on my level.

Beagle · #35 09-30-2011, 07:48 AM

I didn't really read the OP. No offense, but when you've got hundreds, maybe thousands of intelligent posts to make a day on a varied range of topics from beastiality to animal husbandry, you've got to maximize your time.

I did, however, catch the gist, and I also noticed that you needed expert advice. Say no more, I'm here.

Beagle "Prophet of Love" Saddamacasanovarelli

This is me

You're not convinced. "Beagle Saddamacasanovarelli, I've heard of you before -" and of course you have, who hasn't - "but I did not expect you to look so unwashed or hairy." Of course you did not, you silly little sock of teenage hormones, because for years the media has been waging a war on YOU. Books, TV, movies, ads, all have been targeting you with their campaign of disinformation to convince you that the ideal man is smooth, subtly muscular, and hairless, often with a smart short haircut. Do you know who else shares these traits?

That's right. Lesbians.

Anger is no doubt welling up inside you. All this time your tender hormones have been used against you by the insidious lesbian media, promoting their selfish agenda of molding every man in the world into their image. Have you ever wondered why even though you shower daily, use toilet paper and stare at her with intensity, a woman refuses to surrender herself to your advances? It's because she's not looking for what the media told you about. She's looking for a real man. Someone with the built-in food reserves to last a thousand year winter, and the thick coat of hair necessary to shelter her from those cold nights. A man who takes the steering wheel of life with gusto.

For those not paying attention that man is me

"Beagle, your words move and inspire me -" and of course they do, you silly little muppet, that is the intent - "but how does this help me get the girl?" Well, I am slightly perturbed, my young apprentice, for it appears you have listened to nothing I have said, should this hypothetical response be similar to your own. Your delicate strumpet, no doubt named "Jennifer" or "Shaniqua", does not wait for a waxxed-up image of skinliness to ask her to your quaint dance. Should your male rival ask her to the dance and not have the required bodyhair, she will laugh in his face. "A ha ha ha ha ha! You expect me to be attracted to your feminine features? Away with you!"
In this hypothetical scenario, the time for you is now. Enter dramatically into your local school or learning institution, with a dress shirt slightly unbuttoned to show the beginnings of the forest of chest hair you've spent the past two weeks growing. Her mind races as she imagines how many follicles more are under your silken threads. Seize this moment, apprentice. Wave to her smoothly, punctuating it as you do with a handheld maraca, shaka-sha. The maraca has been proven to have intense effects on the female mind, and as your hair and the smooth sounds of shaking fight together, her feeble defenses will cave in. As you stride towards her to continue your assault, she has already surrendered to a powerful lust for you.

"I can't thank you enough, Beagle", a thought you feel more than think it as you prepare for a close-combat assault. "But what do I say?" Little lover, the words will not be needed today. Say what you like, for the lady will hang on your every word, nodding her assent with enthusiasm unbecoming of a high-school student. You need not worry about feeling bad for your lady missing her dance, as she has begun her first steps into a realm of pleasure that makes that awkward affair look like a tiring and prolonged war for oil in comparison. Saddamacasanovarelli advises you that your new-found powers of attraction do not void the laws of your state or country, and as such you should obtain written consent before, during and after any activities with your new companion of the heart.

VeRiTaS · #36 09-30-2011, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ribilla

Your lack of comprehension skills astound us all. Please, calmly and politely remove yourself from this thread and try playing the backseat mod somewhere else.

I must backup rib on this one.
Marvel lrn to use alti forums .

Jrathje · #37 09-30-2011, 02:56 PM

You, Mr. SaddamaCasanovarelli, are brilliant.

It's a shame that girl is a lesbian, though.

Boko · #38 09-30-2011, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuja900

Get some pot and ask her if she wants to chill, ask her out when said chilling is in progress.

You're that easy?

Beagle the kid doesn't have chesthair or w/e, he's too young.
Moar tips are required.

banana · #39 09-30-2011, 04:17 PM

Pot is a bad idea unless you know she's open to it.

classicallad · #40 09-30-2011, 04:41 PM

id be tempted to say fukkit and keep the green for myself tbh