You and your spinoff threads

[Evan20000]

Since all the cool kids are doing it... It's not as good as Leaf's, but I think you may still enjoy it.




As you may know, I like body fat. I am also slightly a bit more less active these days because of pregnancy. I have a very sedentary job that requires a lot of eating. More Altitude and more calories have given me a chance to work on chuting plains even more by buying a better monitor and by eating. I like eating because it feels good man.

So basically, I figured I would share my plan with you guys, just incase you want to get morbidly obese before summer. Oh wait, it is summer already.

The Diet
I am not going to tell you what to eat, just give you key points..

-IF IT'S IN A VENDING MACHINE, IT'S A GOOD CHOICE
You don't need to get everything out of the machine, just clear out one row. Avoid the grains and semi-healthy snacks on the bottom. Also, when you're shopping, avoid anything not labeled "Family size".

-KFC IS YOUR CRUTCH
You need to eat at least 3 servings of KFC every day. Don't neglect to ask for extra gravy. Also, you should consume at least one Double Down every 12 hours.

-SKIP MEALS
This may sound counter intuitive, but your body will absorb more fat if you only have brunches and dinners. Use cheetos and cheese-its to hold you between meals.

-TAKE PILLS
These will help you delay the inevitable heart attack.

The Excercise Plan
My workout plan is actually very easy, anyone can do it.

-STAY SEDENTARY
Avoid unnecessary movement as much as possible. Those little robot-grabby-arms will make life easier by saving you trips to things just out of reach.

-ALTITUDE PLAYSTYLE
Altitude can help you pass the time when you can't get up to do anything. Playing Explodet will get you in the right mindset. If possible, don't use Flexi or Rev and never afterburn. This may feel odd at first, but once you get used to the program, it will mirror your own movements.

-GET A BUCKET
Constant twinky and KFC intake will make you have to use the bathroom a lot. Well, obviously getting up is counter productive, so you follow Cartman's example and have your mom get you a bucket.

-AVOID OUTDOORS AT ALL COSTS
I know the sunshine is great, but that would make you somewhat sociable. And you would be walking. After a year of this program, girls won't speak to you any more and freakshows will offer you work, but **** them; you weigh 3 times as much as they do.

[NfoMonkey]

this outdoors you speak of, is HERESY, it is improbable that there is such a place.... BURN THE WITCH!

also, stupid thread is stupid

[Evan20000]

Obviously. I just couldn't let Tg have all the fun mocking York.

[Clapon]

Originally Posted by Evan20000

Obviously. I just couldn't let Tg have all the fun mocking York.

Id make one of these but that involves a lot of typing. typing burns calories and is there for counter productive.

I must end this before i burn off that gummy bear i just ate.

[Evan20000]

Touche, sir Clap.