The Altitude Bible - Genesis 1

Jesuslives · #1 08-12-2010, 01:03 AM

In the beginning when Nimbly made the Servers and the Software. The servers were empty and void, and the spirit of Pressing ‘F’ hovered over the face of the deep. AND Lamster (and Karl) said “LET THEIR BE MAPS," and it was so. And Klamster saw that the maps were playable. And there was evening and there was whoring, the first day.

And Klamster said, “LET THERE BE 3 BUTTONS,” (f, s, and d), and commanded that the F should be used abundantly, and gave the F dominion over the other buttons. And their was evening and there was whoring, the second day.

….Fast forward…..

And Klamster commanded the software that it should bring forth planes, and it was so. He made the loopy after its kind (minnows) the Explo after its kind (Sperm Whales), the Bomber after it’s kind (wild Hogs), the Biplane after its kind (Mice that shoot vomit-projectiles to kill their enemy, sry biplanes piss me off), and the Miranda after its kind (flying squirrels). And Klamster saw that it is not good for planes to be alone (all they do is planesex), so Klamster said, “LET THEIR BE NOOBS,” and it was so. And the noobs would fly in circles, just like the bots did in Altitude training. And Klamster looked at the work of everything that it had made and saw that it was very addicting. BUT WAIT, Klamster saw that there were no small homosexual bears…

Selfish Lover · #2 08-12-2010, 01:48 AM

I rofl'd. Thank you for that

Greekjr14 · #3 08-12-2010, 01:54 AM

1. This should be a real novel. I would buy it if there was more to the story (which Im sure will be soon).

2. I feel honored for having my name in the first chapter of this.

[Y] · #4 08-12-2010, 03:51 AM

I demand a tgleaf write up.

Or at least someone bring back tgleaf's contest of rearranging the OP's words because I sure as hell am too lazy to do it >_>

zackzingki · #5 08-12-2010, 04:07 AM

XD LOL The altitude bible.

Jesuslives · #6 08-12-2010, 08:08 AM

eey im glad u guys liked it thx for the comments

hurripilot · #7 08-12-2010, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesuslives

In the beginning when Nimbly made the Servers and the Software. The servers were empty and void, and the spirit of Pressing ‘F’ hovered over the face of the deep. AND Lamster (and Karl) said “LET THEIR BE MAPS," and it was so. And Klamster saw that the maps were playable. And there was evening and there was whoring, the first day.

And Klamster said, “LET THERE BE 3 BUTTONS,” (f, s, and d), and commanded that the F should be used abundantly, and gave the F dominion over the other buttons. And their was evening and there was whoring, the second day.

….Fast forward…..

And Klamster commanded the software that it should bring forth planes, and it was so. He made the loopy after its kind (minnows) the Explo after its kind (Sperm Whales), the Bomber after it’s kind (wild Hogs), the Biplane after its kind (Mice that shoot vomit-projectiles to kill their enemy, sry biplanes piss me off), and the Miranda after its kind (flying squirrels). And Klamster saw that it is not good for planes to be alone (all they do is planesex), so Klamster said, “LET THEIR BE NOOBS,” and it was so. And the noobs would fly in circles, just like the bots did in Altitude training. And Klamster looked at the work of everything that it had made and saw that it was very addicting. BUT WAIT, Klamster saw that there were no small homosexual bears…

This is quality posting. Everyone who has ever hoped to post on these forums needs to take after this example.