sunshineduck's Tips for New Posters

sunshineduck · #1 09-09-2010, 11:24 PM

I've been noticing quite a few new posters on here lately and I, for one, welcome them. You will soon find that the forum is full of quite a few angry bastards, like myself, who will jump at the chance to brand you a failure. That's why I'd like to use this thread to give some tips to all you new posters so we can all have a more harmonious experience. (Tips from other veteran posters would be appreciated).

Okay, here we go

Tips
-Lurk This is the most important thing you can possibly do if you hope to become a member of the community here. For your first few trips here just spend some time reading the threads and not posting. Try to learn the language, the memes, and the personalities of the posters. Learn who has the respect of the board (not me) and who is considered a failure.

-Start off Slow So, now you've been lurking long enough to tell the difference between Smushface and Pieface. That's great! You should still realize that your opinion doesn't matter. The last thing you want to do is go out and make a thread because if it fails, which it probably will, you will most likely be branded a failure. First impressions matter! Go find a thread and contribute, but wait until you feel like you've established yourself before you start posting. Maybe try to piggyback off of an established poster (this is where lurking comes in handy). Don't try to make a name for yourself by attacking other posters though, no matter how much they fail. They're still more established than you and you'll probably just elicit a response of "Who are you?". *Note* Don't go too overboard with the piggybacking or else nobody will take you seriously as a poster.

-Listen to your critics If you make a thread and the first response people have to it is something along the lines of "fail", chance are they're right. Stop bumping it and try again.

-Don't feed the troll Is someone saying something so stupid that nobody could possibly agree with them? Chances are they're a troll. Responding to them is only going to get you pissed and make them successful. When in doubt about someone's troll status simply stop replying.

-Beware Tinyurl links Tinyurl has been used in the past to, well, screw with people. It's a good idea to make sure you trust somebody before you click their tinyurl link.

-Check for spelling and grammar This might seem kinda nit-picky, but spelling and to a lesser extent grammar definitely factor in to how other posters perceive you. Sure, your grammar doesn't need to be perfect, but messing up the basics like "there"s and "your"s will just make you look foolish. Also, in an era when Firefox spellchecks everything for you, improper spelling is inexcusable.

-How to add effects to your post To add effects to your post (Such as bold, italics, strikethrough or underline) simply type [x] where x = the effect you want (U for underline, B for bold, S for strikethrough and I for italics). To turn off the effect simply type [/x] where x = the effect you want to end. This will cause everything typed after it to no longer have the effect. Go ahead and try it out by commenting on this thread!

Threads to Avoid
So, now you've established yourself and you're ready to start posting. Make sure your first thread is a good one by avoiding these common awful thread templates.

The Attention Whore Thread Exodus, Kuja Why Do You Treat Me Like A Dog?, Aces♤high. People here don't care about who you are or where you're from or what you do. Anytime you start a thread with the word "I" in it make sure you evaluate it. We don't want to hear about funny things you do with your friends or your family. We especially don't want to hear about your girlfriend (or lack there of). Finally, we're not here to help you with your problems. Almost any thread about a problem of yours will be mocked mercilessly.

Voting Threads Favorite Drink, Bagels, Top 5 Player of Each Plane. Despite the best efforts of the OP. Any thread requiring the community to vote, ESPECIALLY for something like the best player will invariably fail.

Lingo
You must talk the talk before you can walk the walk.

10chars - Short for ten characters, the minimum needed for a post.

^5 - High five

bais - The proper way to misspell "base". See: plain, chute

Best boat - A more recent meme, originated in this thread.

c[_] - Empty care cup. It means nobody cares about what you're posting.

c[▓] - Full care cup. Opposite of empty care cup.

carstairs'd - <---

chute - The proper way to misspell "shoot". See: plain, bais

DF - Double Fire. A loopy perk that is twice as annoying as tracker, with all the empness of its predecessor. Also may be used to refer to explodet specialist Don't Follow.

dorp - Intentional misspelling of "drop", signifies the dropping of a neutral bomb nowhere near an enemy base, usually to prevent an enemy from picking it up and dropping it on yours.

Flippy/Minerva - Not actually planes. Often used in jokes by Altitude veterans "in the know".

FTL - For the loss!

FTW - For the win!

FUUUUU - Typically signifies that someone is upset, not very excited to see altitude player FU.

F_L - **** ____ life. Typically used as FML (my life), FYL (your life), or FOL (our lives)

FYP - Fixed your post

HA - Heavy Armor. A green perk that increases the health of your plane.

HC - Heavy Cannon. A biplane perk known for being really, really annoying.

Hippo - The proper name for a remote mine/flexy wings/turbocharger explodet. Term patented by Matattack.

Hueypirate - Hurripilot, in Chinese. Only to be pronounced extremely quickly in a faux chinese accent as if you were screaming his name during sexual relations.

*hug* - Tupapito needs one.

Į(•.•)₂ - A blind old man waving his cane in anger.

IAH - In all honesty

IMO* - In My Opinion
*Acceptable substitute for punctuation imo

Inb4 Alternatively: ib4 - Short for "In Before" usually followed by another word such as lock, ban, dick pics, etc. Posting this means you anticipate something to happen to the thread or OP. For example: Inb4lock means that you expect the thread to be locked.

inorite - I know, right?

ITT - In this thread

karlam - The altitude community's cute nickname for the game's creators, Karl and Lamster.

LDO - Like duh, obviously

LemonChiffon - The workaround to the not being able to type in white issue. It makes it so you have to highlight the "invisible" text like you did this.

Lock - When posting is disallowed in a thread by a mod

l2 Alternatively: lrn2 - Short for learn to. Examples: l2pass, l2shoot, etc.

Lurking - Reading threads on a forum without posting.

Mod - Pieface, tgleaf, not Kuja, etc Moderator. The people with the "Super Moderator" tag next to their name that yell at you when you stick your dong in the pudding

no u - For any poster, a great response to pretty much almost anything. Example: "Hey man, I heard that Sinstar is a really awful player." You: "no u". See? Instant lulz.

OP - Original Poster

Pew pew - Originally a parody on the noise Miranda used to make when it shot, now a parody on the noise all planes make when they shoot, except Heavy Cannon

plain - The proper way to misspell "plane". See: chute, bais

Properk - A term used exclusively by Sinstar and Hurripilot, First Earl of the Water Cooler as a nickname for the Ace Instincts blue perk

QF_ - Quoted for ____. Most often used as "qft", which means quoted for truth.

Sinstar Syndrome - A highly contagious disease that prevents the victim from pressing s and dropping it on an enemy base. Ironic considering that there are three S's in the name of the disease.

Smurfing - Pretending to be someone you're not, similar to how Kim Kardashian is pretending to be someone relevant.

Sniplane - Technically a reverse thurst/flexy wings/heavy cannon biplane, but this term is really just an awkward Beagle reference. Hi Beagle!

srs - Serious

Sticky - When a thread is moved to the top of the page and remains there no matter what.

TA - Time Anchor. A miranda perk that is known for warping back and forth, often resulting in hilarious death.

TBH - To Be Honest

thermo - Refers to thermobaric missiles, an explodet perk known for slamming people into walls.

tl;dr - Too long ; didn't read (like this thread amirite?)

Trolling - When someone posts with the intention of inciting anger.

TTF - This thread fails

WHOMP WHOMP - The glorious and completely accurate representation of the noise Heavy Cannon's primary weapon makes when fired. This godly expression of genius and creativity drew forth from none other than Lord Hurricane (also known as Lord Hurripilot), First Earl of the Water Cooler.

Whoring - The act of ignoring game mode-specific goals in favor of killing a lot to boost individual ratio.

<reserved> - Posted whenever someone wants to reserve an area for a post they will edit in later. Not really necessary unless writing a long thread that needs updating, but people do it anyways.

sunshineduck · #2 09-09-2010, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clapon

Hello gentle snowflake. If you're reading this, you've wandered into guides. This is not the place for you. This place is not kind to snowflakes. We will make jokes at your expense. If you are a 30 year old Asian who suffers from Gary Coleman's Disease, we will make fun of you. If you are a racist Muslim extremist, we will make fun of you. If the character in Duck Tales you can relate to the most is Dewey, we will most definitely make fun of you.

If you cannot take this I understand. WE understand. Just GTFO. This is not the place for you. Perhaps you might enjoy tech support. You can even make a post about sports and talk about your second rate baseball team. We don't mind. But don't come to guides and get upset when we call you out. And we will. Oh we will. So, don't go complaining to a mod because you are precious and wandered into the dog pen. Coming to guides is like playing "Just the Tip" with your boyfriend. You may only want a little, but you're going to get the whole thing. We both know it. And the mods understand here. They have the whole, "Nah, go ahead and let 'em stick that penny in the light socket. That'll learn 'em good," mentality down.

If you feel this OP relates to someone who could use it, feel free to PM them a link. Let's cut down on precious snowflakes and sensitive feelings.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clapon

Oh yeah, here's a list of internet memes to know
It doesn't matter, just go ahead and post it anyways. When you don't know a meme, the more often you repeat it the more likely someone is to believe you do. Now THAT'S a re-run!

See? No ****ing clue what that means.

Also a list of mentionable posters in this forum
I don't know of any, so you shouldn't worry about knowing any either. If you see someone's name, say they're awesome and you miss them. If you happen to post someone's name that nobody recognizes, just keep spamming it. They'll get it soon enough.

Hopefully, this can be used as an expanding guide to good posting. I don't consider myself a great poster, but I had a relatively smooth transition from forum noob to someone who is at least known around here. Contributions and suggestions are welcome but please try to keep personal attacks to a minimum. Together we can all stop the spread of Fail-posting. And remember, originality got nobody nowhere. And as somebody, you want to be somewhere.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demuyt

Special Thanks
A special thanks to all of the contributors to this thread and to those who have helped to correct errors. Including...

- carstairs
- Clapon
- Demuyt
- Evan20000
- ex~
- Hurripilot
- Pieface
- r87
- Thom Yorke
- Tosconi
- Twisol
- [Y]
- Hopefully more soon?!

Special Not Thanks
- tgleaf

Seriously, screw that guy.

Conclusion
Hopefully, this can be used as an expanding guide to good posting. I don't consider myself a great poster, but I had a relatively smooth transition from forum noob to someone who is at least known around here. Contributions and suggestions are welcome but please try to keep personal attacks to a minimum. Together we can all stop the spread of Fail-posting.

How does one spot fail posting? Here's an example:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ajuk999

Any post by me

For your health

Evan20000 · #3 09-09-2010, 11:35 PM

I've honestly never seen some of that lingo before and I'm going to accuse you of making some of it up on the spot.

Decent read, nonetheless.

And you didn't put "No u" in there. Son, I am disappoint.

drunkguava · #4 09-09-2010, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineduck

handwriting analysis concludes that you're a 33 year old single mother who killed a squirrel once in college and still can't get over it.

god, i love you so much ssd.

Evan20000 · #5 09-09-2010, 11:38 PM

Also, you should have added "Thermo: Karlam's ploy for forcing mouse control on people" :P.

sunshineduck · #6 09-09-2010, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evan20000

I've honestly never seen some of that lingo before and I'm going to accuse you of making some of it up on the spot.

Decent read, nonetheless.

And you didn't put "No u" in there. Son, I am disappoint.

Thank you for your valuable contribution. Can't believe I forgot that.

ed: I also did make up some of the lingo on the spot, I believe they are very underused. Just wait until I bring over the srs eyes. ಠ_ಠ

Evan20000 · #7 09-09-2010, 11:41 PM

ITT: Sinstar gets himself mentioned in yet another guide.

sunshineduck · #8 09-09-2010, 11:55 PM

Shoot, forgot about the size limit on posts. Can a mod give me a reserved post directly underneath my OP or something, please?

tgleaf · #9 09-10-2010, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineduck

Shoot, forgot about the size limit on posts. Can a mod give me a reserved post directly underneath my OP or something, please?

I read the whole thing. And I really enjoyed it.

I can't believe I got some of those terms sooo wrong. Oh man. Live and let learn. And no, I can't help you.

sunshineduck · #10 09-10-2010, 12:18 AM

derp.

maybe I can make a new thread and we can just pretend this one never happened?

or can you transfer posts between threads

>_>

tgleaf · #11 09-10-2010, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineduck

derp.

maybe I can make a new thread and we can just pretend this one never happened?

or can you transfer posts between threads

>_>

We'll see if Pieface can work some magic. He's an UberMod.

Fartface · #12 09-10-2010, 12:40 AM

c[_]

jkjk. I like this guide

Clapon · #13 09-10-2010, 12:50 AM

Hmmmm this looks might familiar. i swear i have see this somewhere

plus i love you

Pieface · #14 09-10-2010, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tgleaf

We'll see if Pieface can work some magic.

Magic worked ^^

<3 SSD, even though I discovered the insult you cleverly aimed at me. D: For the record:

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineduck

Learn who has the respect of the board (not me) and who is considered a failure

...

So, now you've been lurking long enough to tell the difference between Smushface and Pieface.

I see what you did there. NO U

MintzMachete · #15 09-10-2010, 01:26 AM

.<3 you crazy Asian

[Y] · #16 09-10-2010, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshineduck

FUUUUU - Typically signifies that someone is upset, not very excited to see altitude player FU.

pshh u just mad I repeatedly whomp your time anchoring ass with mah mancanon

Also, you forgot the manta ray boat :<

classicallad · #17 09-10-2010, 02:04 AM

Nicely done SSD, i lolle'd whilst breaking wind to the OP, ahhh the relief.

carstairs · #18 09-10-2010, 04:32 AM

You missed "carstairs'd" in your lingo list. Revise as seen here:

c[▓] - Full care cup. Opposite of empty care cup.

carstairs'd - <---

chute - The proper way to misspell "shoot". See: plain

Other than that, think we're good. Nice guide.

hurripilot · #19 09-10-2010, 04:56 AM

You forgot:

Pew pew - Originally a parody on the noise Miranda used to make when it shot, now a parody on the noise all planes make when they shoot, except Heavy Cannon

WHOMP WHOMP - The glorious and completely accurate representation of the noise Heavy Cannon's primary weapon makes when fired. This godly expression of genius and creativity drew forth from none other than Lord Hurricane (also known as Lord Hurripilot), First Earl of the Water Cooler.

Bais - The proper way to misspell "base". see - "chute" and "plain"

Twisol · #20 09-10-2010, 05:51 AM

c[▓]

Awesome guide, especially being a new poster myself.

sunshineduck · #21 09-10-2010, 06:05 AM

Thank you all for your contributions, you have been noted in the Special Thanks section.

If any of you would like to add anything more lengthy and in depth than fun vocabulary words, you are definitely welcome to. There's even a section just for you!

Twisol · #22 09-10-2010, 06:33 AM

Just FYI (oh, that's another one!), I think FML (**** my life) is more common than FYL. I'd love to contribute in other ways but I'm not quite a regular yet

CCN · #23 09-10-2010, 07:01 AM

Okay, your hippo term is all sorts of wrong./

Whale = Explodet.

Hippo = Bomber + what some whales want to call themselves to believe they are less fat.

robinb98 · #24 09-10-2010, 09:24 AM

nice guide ssd

Beagle · #25 09-10-2010, 07:31 PM

Biting comment on Kim, ssd

Also, I like WHOMP WHOMP but that's the noise it makes if you suck and miss twice. Otherwise it's WHOMP - TCK WHOMP - TCK PBAMffff

You also forgot to mention me ever

Kuja900 · #26 09-10-2010, 08:27 PM

Needs more Kuja

sunshineduck · #27 09-10-2010, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beagle

Biting comment on Kim, ssd

Also, I like WHOMP WHOMP but that's the noise it makes if you suck and miss twice. Otherwise it's WHOMP - TCK WHOMP - TCK PBAMffff

You also forgot to mention me ever

Amendeded.

[Y] · #28 09-10-2010, 08:47 PM

In a reloaded effort to get myself on the thanks list, YOU FORGOT MANTA RAY AND THE OTHER BOATS.

mled · #29 09-11-2010, 12:32 AM

Lemon Chiffon- A sexual pose that I, mled just invented.

Tosconi · #30 09-11-2010, 06:18 PM

no mentioning of "whoring" and "camping" - the heart and soul of non-competitive altitude? O_o :P

[Y] · #31 09-11-2010, 07:56 PM

lrn2___

and

lol@___

Demuyt · #32 09-12-2010, 11:55 AM

I can't seem to see n00b, nub or nublet anywhere

great guide btw, especially the part about Aces High

sunshineduck · #33 09-12-2010, 05:52 PM

Thanks for your contributions. lol@____ is pretty self explanatory, and noob/nub are pretty common general gamer lingo words as well.

Evan20000 · #34 09-12-2010, 10:10 PM

You forgot "properk". How dare you.

A Nipple · #35 09-13-2010, 02:00 AM

u forgot nipnip...

Evan20000 · #36 09-13-2010, 02:04 AM

Sinstar Syndrome - A highly contagious disease that prevents the victim from pressing s and dropping it on an enemy base. Ironic considering that there are three S's in the name of the disease.

It's funny because it rarely happens to me anymore. But I appreciate the free publicity, so don't rename it.

[Y] · #37 09-13-2010, 02:18 AM

You media whore.

Ingbo · #38 09-13-2010, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evan20000

Sinstar Syndrome - A highly contagious disease that prevents the victim from pressing s and dropping it on an enemy base. Ironic considering that there are three S's in the name of the disease.

It's funny because it rarely happens to me anymore. But I appreciate the free publicity, so don't rename it.

U guys are such douchebagcunts; ITS ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE CALLED THE ZERO SICKNESS SINCE HE STARTED BUGGING ME IN LADDER SINCE HE NEVER DROPPED BOMB WHICH WAS LIKE JANUARY THIS YEAR WHICH _____NOTE_____ WAS BEFORE U LEARNT THAT THERE WERE BOMBS IN TBD.........

Evan20000 · #39 09-13-2010, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evan20000

but i appreciate the free publicity, so don't rename it.

1234567890

[Y] · #40 09-13-2010, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [y]

you media whore.

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