P90LIX Winter 2013! (ryebone is bad)

[elixirwithani]

Hi!

I've been spending far too much time in recent months plotting the downfall of DN's winstreak (you will never see it coming), and far too little time huffing and puffing in the great outdoors.

For a normal mortal, this would lead to getting fat. Luckily, I don't get fat. However, I do get "out of shape."

As winter bares its chilly little teeth, I have decided to venture into the icy wonderland and P90LIX myself to greatness.

This thread serves as an invitation for those of you who want to get in shape at the most awkward possible time of year for getting in shape. It's cold. It's possibly snowing. You might be stuck living in Canada.

Well **** you, get over it. It's party time.

For the next month (and possibly forever), I will lead you on a journey that will likely end in a gruesome ice-related injury.

If you don't live somewhere cold, I demand that you go **** yourself and stop reading this thread, in whichever order is convenient for you. God Bless.

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I will either update the OP on a daily basis or post in the thread regarding what I will be doing on a given day. Feel free to use what I am doing for inspiration.

Note: it's cold as shiiiiiiiiz outside. You will hurt yourself if you don't wear pants and other appropriate clothing like a winter hat.

Note: consult a doctor before using P90LIX to ensure that you are healthy enough to run and ****.

Note: if you don't have a track to run on, use a site like mapmyrun.com to approximate how far you need to go.

Note: I am not very creative. 99% of my workouts will look identical. I am limited by the materials I have to work with. As I get farther in, quantity may increase, and speed will increase. I cannot really tell other people how fast they should be running. If, however, you ever think to yourself, "this isn't so bad anymore," your body has gotten used to the pace you set and you need to push yourself harder if you want to improve.

Note: this will be hard (and probably dangerous) if you are not in reasonable shape.

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Materials required:

- A functioning human heart.
- The rest of that human, also functioning.
- Shoes.

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THE SCHEDULE:

Day ONE - Wednesday, January 9, Year of our Lord 2013 (FIGURE OUT HOW AWFUL I AM DAY [BASELINE]):

Warm up:
A. Stretch (GOOGLE IT)
B. 2 mile run (3.21869 KM **** you Europe)
C. Stretch (GOOGLE IT)

Workout:
A. 1x 400m (AT A REASONABLE PACE)
B. 25 pushups
C. 50 crunches
D. Stretch as needed
- Repeat A-C until you can't do any more (GOAL IS 8 AKA 2 MILES)

Note: 200 pushups is hard. Godspeed.

Cool down:
A. Stretch
B. Cry
C. 1 mile run (1.60934 KM **** you Europe)
D. Stretch
E. Stretch

--

[elixirwithani]

Reserved for schedule or cute pictures of animals.



THE SCHEDULE:

Day TWO - Thursday, January 10, Year of our Lord 2013 (I AM AWFUL, NOW TO BECOME LESS AWFUL):

Note: don't wear shorts this time even though its 40ºF outside. You idiot.

Warm up:
A. Stretch
B. 1 mile run (1.60934 KM **** you Europe) [track is not as far away as previously thought]

Workout:
A. 1x 400m (AT A PATHETIC, GRANDMOTHERLY PACE)
B. 25 pushups
C. 50 crunches
D. Stretch as needed
- Repeat A-C FOUR times (4x400m, 100 pushups, 200 crunches)

- Note: there is mo'****in snow on 200m of the track.

Cool down:
A. Stretch
B. 1 mile run (1.60934 KM **** you Europe)
D. Stretch

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Day THREE - Friday, January 11, Year of our Lord 2013 (I AM AWFUL, NOW TO BECOME LESS AWFUL):

Warm up:
A. Stretch
B. 1 mile run (1.60934 KM **** you Europe)

Workout:
A. 1x 800m (Mother of God)
B. 25 pushups
C. 50 crunches
D. Stretch as needed
- Repeat A-C THREE times (3x800m, 75 pushups, 150 crunches)

- Note: do the pushups and crunches somewhere that isn't covered in snow.

Cool down:
A. Stretch
B. 1 mile run (1.60934 KM **** you Europe)
D. Stretch

[Radium]

daaaaamn bro this was great!

[soccernamlak]

Day Four

Warm up:
A. Stretch
B. 1 mile walk (1.60934 KM **** you Europe)

Workout:
A. 1x 8m (FML)
B. 2 pushups (HOLY BALLSACKS)
C. 1 crunche
D. Stretch as needed
- Repeat A-C THREE 0 TIMES


GATORADE AND MOUNTAIN DEW BREAK

Cool down:
A. Stretch
B. 6 hours of Altitude (140 PING **** you Europe)
D. Sleep in bed of Cheetos.

[Winters Ark]

This just in: soccer is actually lix. lix has spent his time learning how to play Altitude with his feet and hands at the same time in order to prove that he is better at admining and raging than anyone else. He saw how we were all fooled by the Synnik/rdm thing so lix thought he could one-up him by winning first and second place in Skyleague. gg, lix, gg.

[elixirwithani]

ughhh I need to update this but it's so much effort

[Radium]

still waiting on update

[elixirwithani]

i almost puked i was so hungover at the track yesterday is that an update

[leggomyeggo]

Originally Posted by elixirwithani

i almost puked i was so hungover at the track yesterday is that an update

pics or gtfo

[classicallad]

Thanks for sharing!